Twinsane’s Weblog

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My cat was killed

Posted by --- on Tuesday 2 September, 2008

It was awful. I took DSK to school, DSJ starts tomorrow, DSL was in bed and DFS was waiting to go to his motorbike tuition. The door went and DSJ said that neighbour C wanted DFS. He went out and within minutes rang me to tell me Pepsi had been fataly hit by a car and to bring a blanket to carry him. I was in tears as I looked for something to wrap him in but we have no old blankets anymore and all my old towels have been used for Lexie. I walked to the end of the road towards DFS with neighbours curtains twitching. I was breathing fast not wanting to see what was lying on the path but having to look to make sure it was really him. It was. He was lying on his side and as I walked, DFS said not to look too closely at him due to the amount of facial damage – his eyes were hanging out and his rear end had been driven over. There was more but I didn’t want to hear it.
DFS wrapped him in the only thing I could find – one of my fleecy jackets – and sobbing, I asked to carry him home. I walked up the road with tears streaming down my face, trying to avoid eye contact with neighbours who were now outside. I took him home and held him for a while down the bottom of the garden on my own. He felt heavy which is odd as he didn’t feel like that when he was purring on my lap. Despite his weight I didn’t want to put him down but knew I had to. DDJ came down the garden breaking her heart as DFS had told her what had happened. So I had to pull myself together.

We placed him in the greenhouse until DSK could be at home to help bury him if he wanted to. I dug the grave between the newly planted elder and the hydrangea he liked to lie under so that when it all grows, he will be lying underneath them both. I covered it over to protect it from the rain. Most neighbours have come to tell me how sorry they are. Most of them have fed him at some point! He was such a scrounger; you’d think he’d never been fed! He was also the most skilled hunter I’ve ever seen and even though I hated it (he wore a big bell that didn’t work), it didn’t stop him trying and I’ve seen acrobatic feats perfomed off the garage roof to catch a pigeon in mid-flight and also seen him climb over 60 ft up a tree to try to sneak up on a pigeon – that had watched him climb, probably in amazement.

I can’t see how he was hit. He had crossed the main road for some unusual reason but he was coming back when he was hit, you can tell by what side the impact is and the marks on him. That means that whoever hit him, wasn’t paying attention, was going really fast (not likely with the crossings etc), or didn’t care because I’m sure that you would have noticed him crossing the opposite lane first. I know I would. This is me speculating and trying to make sense of what happened. I suppose it’s possible the he just ran out from behind a parked car and wasn’t hit on the side I think.

I just can’t believe he’s gone.

Edited at 22:51: We buried him tonight. The kids wanted to help but couldn’t do much before they broke down. I held them while DFS finished burying him. We left a space because the kids want to make him something. I’ve found out tonight that the driver could have avoided him. A neighbour saw it all. It was a white van. He could have swerved or braked to avoid him but he didn’t even slow down. Nor did he stop when he’d hit him nor as he went over him but left him in the road for other cars to run over him too. Another neighbour also saw and unsure who’s cat it was, took him off the road and laid him against the wall so he wasn’t further damaged. The poor kids walking to school this morning on their first day back (or even first day ever) must have walked past him and seen him in that state. How can people be so cruel? What right had that driver to take his life like that? I know cats aren’t universally loved but he didn’t need to do that. Pepsi could still be here tonight. We would still have our cat. I wouldn’t have had to listen to my kids sobbing when they went to bed. Half of me wants karma to do its job but I’m not that cruel. I don’t want it to happen to his family. I wouldn’t wish this on his kids.

13 Responses to “My cat was killed”

  1. Billy said

    Im so sorry to hear this!

    This just happend to my cat 2 days ago =( i still dont believe it

    I know exactly how you feel right now as i feel this way too =(

    When i was told that my 2 year old black cat was gone i couldnt believe it. It was so sudden and its just not fair… people on the road these days have no hearts! Im sorry for your loss and i know exactly what you feel and make sure you properly say goodbye and dont blame yourself or anyone, you just have to accept the fact that no matter what you do, nothing will bring your cat Pepsi back. Or my cat either. I’m sure this happens everyday and it needs to STOP! I offer my greatest sympathies and feel better!

  2. twinsane said

    Thank you for taking the time to comment Billy. It must be hard for you when you are feeling the same way and I send my condolences and my heart out to you. It’s early days for you too and I know the loss you must be feeling.

    No it’s not fair and neither is the law. Why is it that an RTC involving a dog needs to be reported to the police but one involving a cat doesn’t? I shudder to think what would have happened to Pepsi if he wasn’t recognised and I could bring him home.

    Yes, I’ve said goodbye but I will go and “talk” to him every so often. I talk to my other cat who is in the garden that I lost due to old age.

    You’re right this should stop but as much as I want it to, it never will. Many people have a hatred of cats. I was told last night that cats kill pet chickens so the chicken keeper shoots any cats he sees… I keep chickens and now have two cats; I have Pepsi’s brother, Whisper (they were rescue kittens. We couldn’t leave one on it’s own so had both!) and an 11 yr old tortoiseshell called Taz. None of my cats have ever touched our chickens, in fact, the chickens chase them off! I also know of a neighbour that used to shoot cats with an air rifle for “fun” and target practice. That stopped when a cat I bought decided to adopt him. That’s just a couple of examples of people’s attitude to cats.

  3. Billy said

    Thank you for replying and showing your sympathy i appreciate it.

    I just hope from the bottom of my heart that the cat was killed by accident… I dont know what i would do if i knew that she was killed on purpose. I would never get over it ='(.

    But she is an all black cat and she was found at about 8 30 in the morning… And she might have been there for a while and maybe the driver didnt see.. i really dont want to have hate towards anyone… I once again offer my condolences to you and your family. May your cat Pepsi and my Luna meet in heaven and become close friends.

    To tell you the truth i feel worse for the poor cat than i do myself. We found her under the deck, a stray abandoned and we think she was the runt of the litter. I just feel bad she couldnt have a fair life… Im sorry for telling you all this i just think it will help me feel better.I just dont want her to suffer anymore and be at peace.

    Thank you.=)

  4. Billy said

    By the way when i say we found her under the deck i mean 2 years ago when she was a few weeks old

  5. twinsane said

    Feel free to talk away! I’m glad you commented in the first place, it made me feel as if we’re not the only ones going through this. I know we’re not but actually hearing it is different. Don’t be sorry for talking – it does you good and it’s nice to be able to chat to someone about her isn’t it. My blog is my release I think 🙂 Pepsi was also black and also the runt! He was always a tiny cat unlike his brother but he ate for three! He was always hungry lol.

    I wish this hadn’t happened to either Pepsi or Luna and it would be lovely to think of them in a “cat heaven”. I think in some ways Luna was lucky. If it hadn’t been you that found her and took her in and loved her as you did she might have had a very different life. At least you gave her everything she deserved for the short time she was with us. I’m sure that where ever she is now, she is thanking you for making her life better.

    Do you have other pets you can shower your devotion on? There is always a cat desperately needing a good home and good homes are so hard to come by.

  6. Billy said

    I have two other very fat cats, haha one is Tiger and he is about 28 pounds and the other is Cutty who is i think 22 pounds.

    So yes i do have two other cats and they are each i think 7 or 8 years old now they are very affectionate and one of them now gives my family comfort and seems to be very sad about the kitten as well. Cutty (who would be somewhat hostile to the kitten but they got along alright) will still hide behind corners and expect the kitten to walk by. Shes not a very bright cat =/. But yes i feel slightly better these days and i just feel so bad that this poor innocent creature was so unfairly removed from the world. I’ve been feeling very out of motivation these days and i just went into 10th grade on Wednesday. What i time to lose motivation =/.

    Thanks you again and i share your feelings on this.

    Feel Better,

  7. Kathy said

    Hi Guys
    This has just happened to me and i feel deverstated. I run a pony charity and decided to get a cat to help keep the mice at bay at our stables. I thought I could give a nice country home to a more mature cat that maybe needed rescuing. Along came GIZMO 18months old and used to living outdoors. His owners were going to send him to the local cats home as their daughter was allergic to cats.
    Our previous cat had been with us for 12yrs and finaly died of old age two years ago.
    For two weeks i kept Gizmo caged and took him out on a lead and then gradualy let him go supurvised around the site. He settled well always returning to the feeding station and sleeping in his basket.
    Gizmo was begining to get really upset everytime I returned him to the cage and by the way he had settled i felt it was time to let him out properly he decided he would sleep on top of the cage in his basket inside our barn,
    Our site is several acres including woods and the nearest access road about 1/4 mile.
    On Sunday morning he was not around for breakfast as usual so I started hunting for him.
    And then the deverstation to discover a neighbour had seen him run over at dusk the previous evening outside of her house. The driver did not stop maybe he didnt realise or maybe he did,
    The elderly lady who found him had moved him to the side of the road and then set out the next morning to try to find out who owned him.
    Words cannot express how sad and guilty i feel he was a lovely cat. He had never lived in a house but had been with a famialy and lived in their outhouse a free spirit that i could not just keep caged up.
    He was young and had hardly had a life and I thought I was giving him a lovely country home I cant beleive what has happened . The road in question has hardly any traffic and where he lived before was on a housing estate . But on reflection maybe thats just it he was caught out and didnt even realise he was on a road.
    At the moment i keep analysing how what etc and wondering if and when the pain will ease.
    I work with horses everyday that are ill or have been neglected have had to deal with many situations but loosing this cat has really hit hard.
    My sympathy to everyone who has been or is in a simular position.

  8. twinsane said

    Billy, I’m glad you’re feeling a little better. The other cats will eventually forget although my puppy is still scanning the fence everytime she goes out waiting for Pepsi to return. I’m sure she will forget soon too. I know it’s difficult but try not to lose your motivation too much it will only be more difficult if you have to catch up on work too. Good luck with everything.

  9. twinsane said


    I’m so sorry this has happened to you too. I understand exactly what you mean regarding the guilt and running “what if’s” through your mind. We need answers and it’s hard not to speculate to try to make sense of things. I know it’s no consolation but the pain does lessen; already mine has and I feel a little guilty for that too although I know it’s just human nature and the only way forward. I’ve had quite a few people contacting me regarding this post and I realise the huge scale of this problem. I’ve also had views from drivers who have had the terrible experience of a cat running out in the road. I don’t know what I’d do if ever I was in the terrible position of being the driver.

    With Pepsi’s loss I console myself with the thought that for the short time he was with us, we gave him the best we could. We tried to reduce the risks. He was neutered to stop him straying and fighting, he wore a reflective collar and where possible he was in the house. His brother is quite happy to stay in and only goes in to the garden but Pepsi was restless. I didn’t realise he went by the road however. But, he was loved and cared for and I’m sure Gizmo had the same. You are obviously a caring person by the charity you run. You also did your best to minimise the risks and I’m certain that Gizmo had a blast on your site! It’s heartbreaking that it couldn’t have been for longer but I’m positive he was happy for the time he was with you.

    I know it’s too soon yet, but if Gizmo was your only cat (which it seems he was) might you consider another? The rescue centre we had Pepsi and Whisper from were full to brimming and as you know from experience with your ponies, good homes are always sought out and it sounds as if you could offer one. I understand you’d have concers regarding the road but Gizmo was very unlucky; it isn’t likely to happen again is it?

    My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you Kathy, and thanks for all that you do for the ponies.

  10. Lucy said

    Hi guys, I have been comforted by all the comments on this blog site. My 4 yr old cat Chica got hit by a car last Thursday night and the pain will not go away. The story is very similar to these on this sight and I am just so devistated. I had only been out 3 hours and returned home, parked my car as usual and 2 passing by people accross my very quiet road with speen bumps stopped after noticing a dead cat on the pavement. I then went accross to speculate as was so shocked to see Chica, her head was a mess, she was still warm and blood from every facial orafice, I was so shocked and histerical, the guy who had stopped was so amazing and sympathetic and took off his t-shirt to wrap Chica and put her next to my house under a bush, the girl who had stopped hugged me and my partner was with me. I got a box from my neighbour and drove 30 minutes to an out of hours animal hospital to confirm she was dead because although I imagined she died on impact, i needed to be sure. I cannot believe that a car was going to fast on that road, noone saw anything and it is unusual for her to be close to a car, i imagine she was being chased by a dog, cat or chasing a mouse or something, or maybe she knew I was on my way home and got excited, but I am so devistated and loved her so much. I just don`t know how I can get over it. I have a huge garden out the back and she used to spend most of the time there. I am going to do a memorial for her to remember her by. She was so healthy. It is so sad. I feel sad for all these stories and the people who lsot their beloved pet. I really know how you are feeling.

  11. Lucy said

    Its so hard to imagine how cars can drive so fast with speed bumps.. I have tried to wash away the blood on the pavement and the road but it doesn`t go away and I have to notice it every day. Its heartbreaking.

  12. twinsane said

    Oh Lucy my heart goes out to you for you loss of Chica and yet another tragedy on the roads. As you can see by the few messages from people that don’t mind a public post (and the many private emails I’ve received), you are sadly not alone. Many people reading your post will be be empathising with you and sending condolences and sympathy I’m sure. It was good that you had people that were sympathetic and helpful at the time but unless they have experienced it they can only guess how gut wrenching it is.
    Having a special place for Chica is a lovely idea. We also did a small memorial and I often talk to Pepsi as I pass his special place in the garden. My neighbours probably think I’m crazy but I don’t care. I can’t walk past him and not acknowledge him.
    How are you feeling now? It has only been a little over a month for us but already the grief easier. Maybe because we grieved so much at the start. Writing this post helped as did the comments and shared experiences; I didn’t feel as if I was going through this alone. It is heartbreaking to see how often it happens though.
    It must be especially hard for you having to see the stains on the pavement; I avoid looking at the corner where I picked Pepsi up from, but for you it is a constant reminder of what has happened. I hope the marks go away soon so you don’t have the horror every day.
    Again Lucy I send my heartfelt condolences and hope that with time you can remember the nice times you shared with Chica and not picture the results of the accident. Maybe also, in time you could give some of the love you gave to Chica to another cat that needs a loving caring home.

  13. Billy said

    It’s been a while and im getting better, its good to see i’ve inspired people to write about their stories too.

    While i am getting better im sure that i will never be able to think about what happened without feeling any pain.

    I think the reason its so traumatizing is because you lost something you loved… all at once, no warning…

    Thanks again !

    Hope youre feeling better too!

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