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DDI Update at 3 1/2

Posted by --- on Wednesday 22 January, 2014

I’ve just read an old post of mine so decided to do a quick update on DDI.

She was 3 1/2 today and I’m still bescotted with her. She is developing well but I don’t “teach” her things as such. We just bring things into every day situations. She just picks it up when she’s ready. A bit like potty training. I asked her a couple of times if she wanted a potty and she said no. Then one day she got up and said she didn’t want to wear a nappy anymore and never had one on again. She had 2 accidents and never wet the bed at all!

She is now at nursery in a main school every afternoon for 3 hours. As it’s no local and we drive most of the way and walk the rest, it takes me about an hour to get her there – a quarter of an hour drive there, a quarter of an hour walk, and then the same back – repeat to collect her.  It was a nightmare getting her to go as she got extremely distressed when I left and didn’t calm down after half an hour like the say they do. The school decided it best (and I agreed) to start with half hour sessions so she knew I’d be coming back soon. She is still very much a mommy’s girl. She’s also still on the go all the time.  She will only go to sleep on me,usually around 9-10pm, and I then lie her in her own bed. She will wake at some point – sometimes only half an hour after putting her in bed, sometimes several hours later – and either come downstairs crying when she’s realised I’m not in bed, or toddle across the room to climb in bed with me. I am now single (long story) after discovering that DDI had been having an affair since shortly after DDI was born until he was caught when she was 2 1/2. He continued to see the OW for another 6 months and continued with his temper – losing it completely and threatening me on a couple of occasions. On the final one, I asked him to leave. It’s difficult and part of me is even considering a reconciliation but I’m not sure (I suppose that should be another post) Anyway, it means that DDI and I can share a bed without it affecting anyone else.
She is now closer to ES than she was, mainly because I encouraged the relationship when I thought we were reconciling. Also, now he doesn’t have the OW in his life or “working away” all the time, he can spend more time with her. Part of me resents her making a relationship with him after what he’s done as he doesn’t deserve her but she loves him and I wouldn’t deny her that. She still wouldn’t stay with him though and, if I’m honest, I’m relieved. I’d miss her terribly if she wasn’t here.

Back to schooling and after weeks of heartbreaking crying she is loving nursery now and can’t wait to go each day. She is making friends and told me today she’s invited 3 of them to come and live with us! I managed to get her a place in what was the best nursery in the county with outstanding results from Ofsted for many years running. It is over 3 miles away though and out of our catchment area so I think we’d struggle to get a full time school place. Also, its a worry getting her there. Most of the time I have the car but for the first time in the 4 years I’ve had it, it’s really let me down this year. It’s had to have new disc brakes and pads, new tyres, handbrake, alternator, battery and spent several weeks off the road with a parasitic drain problem which cost a fortune in auto electrician and garage charges. It means I worry now about transport and have to think how I’d manage with it for the next 9 years. So I’ve put her current school down as second choice to a local school that isn’t as good as far as I can tell but within walking distance.

She will love that I hope as she likes being outside. She loves to walk (half of the reason we park and walk to nursery as well as avoiding hte parking chaos that happens close to the school) and run. She often runs most of the way back to the car each day. She likes the things I do – gardening etc – and when I was setting up the brother today asked if she could have a knitting machine for christmas! She loves her food too but I still struggle to get her to drink. She doesn’t breast feed anymore but that was somehting I struggled to stop. I felt guilty stopping her but she was still having a night feed after she’d turned 3. I ended up refusing her and saying she was too big. She did cry a bit but I started taking a bottle of water to bed and offered that instead. I told her we’d still cuddle but not have any mommy milk and she only took a few nights to accept though she would try to sneak a boob if she thought i was asleep or turn to nuzzle if she was half asleep. I miss it in some ways but am glad its finished.

Oh oh. I hear footsteps upstairs. time to get up before the tears start…

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